Turning a new leaf

On Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed. So say the prophetic words written in the prayers for the High Holidays, that one’s fate for the entire year is set between the dawn of the new year and the day of atonement.

As I think over this year of peace and changes, love and loss, growth and a new found understanding, I hardly come away unscathed. I am no less a sinner than the person next to me. For me my sins revisit me constantly, that I might have found a path that caused less pain to those I love, that I might have spared others discomfort, that I could have done more to aid those coming along the path behind.

We are all of us called upon to repair the world. A couple of years ago I was just looking to survive at first, then to perhaps reach some state of peace. It took time to see that some form of happiness would be possible, even if it has bittersweet aspects. If you told me back then I would try to work to make things better, even engage in some small degree of activism I would have said no way, and yet that’s one of the points of all this. To spread a message of understanding.

Tomorrow, as my year is sealed I hope it will be a good year, a happy year, and a year where I’m finally complete and can simply live. Every year brings sadness of course, but hopefully this one will balance it with joy.

L’Shana tova

Rachel

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