Buying Appropriate Clothing

There’s an epidemic among many members of the trans community. Among transwomen of a certain age, there’s this pineing for that which we missed: youth, svelteness, and the things that go with that. Some of us try to recapture that with clothing that is a little (or a lot) inappropriate for our age.

It’s often said we travel through a second puberty as we transition and I do think there’s some truth to that both psychologically and even physically to the extent that we have changes in body shape, composition, skin and hair. We seek and find our way as women and not all of us reach the other end. We learn to deal with those things every young woman deals with and of course there are things we never have to deal with.

Some abnormal stress is added as well – for those of us in middle years we’re understandably often dealing with family drama having decided at a younger age that we could suppress that girl inside and be “normal”. Shedding the old male mask is also a process that takes time.

Fashion is said to be a form of self expression and if we are in our second puberty perhaps we’re trying to say we’re feeling like teenagers, but when we’re 40-something or 50-something that thigh length mini with the fishnets and bandeau top looks kinda skanky (and for the record, it’s really not a great look for twenty somethings either truthfully). However, just try to tell your trans friend that she ought to be dressing in skirts and dresses that are no higher than just above the knee – oh my Lord!

But let’s say you get past this trap of eternal youth. You’ve had good advice and you’ve correctly decided that the junior’s section is off limits even if you could possibly fit into it. You’re not forever 21 and you don’t take fashion advice from “Seventeen” or probably even “Cosmo”.

Now you’re finally going to discover that while shopping can be fun, it is also time consuming and can be extremely frustrating. Hey guys, ever wonder why your girlfriend or wife is winding around every rack in the woman’s section and apparently has to walk the entire floor at Macy’s to find three articles of clothing to try on and none of them fit? That’s the world women live in. It’s a crazy world where each designer has a section of floor space and the arrangement of garments is unique to them. Each maker has their own interpretation of that mystical sizing system that only sorta kinda has anything to do with human measurements (and has an entirely different scale for denim).

Even if by some miracle three designers agreed on the waist size for a size 10 skirt (god, I wish) and you tried them on, it would be a miracle if more than one fit right. Why? Men are shaped like cylinders, it’s easy to make uniform clothing that fits. Women are all over the place. Some women have relatively narrow hips, and some have pretty wide hips. Some have large bottoms and some have small ones (fortunately these usually go with the appropriate hips). But having a big bottom doesn’t mean you have a big top or vice versus. A dress that fits a large bust may look idiotic on a woman with a modest bust, and one for a woman with a modest bust may not fit her relatively ample bottom all assuming the same waist size.

So guys, have pity, we really do have days when all we want is this normal thing like a floral blouse and try on twenty and don’t find one that looks right. I went through Macy’s and couldn’t find a casual Summer skirt that was in a solid. Not a single one.

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