Defining yourself

What does it mean to become a women. I wrote at length about being a real woman, but that was mostly talking about biology. There’s much more to being a woman than biology, at least more to the female gender than biological sex.

When someone transitions from male to female, the first stop might be to try and be the stereotype girl with lots of makeup, doing up her hair, fashion, shoes and honestly there’s nothing  wrong with this. Plenty of natal women like makeup, at least when they aren’t trying to run to work and putting on mascara at the red light. Personally I thought wearing pretty and interesting clothing was a big win for transitioning.

Yet then the transitioner looks around and starts seeing that not all women are the same. There are women of every age who present elegantly, inappropriately, understated, sexy, butch, femme (not all these are exclusive of course). Some women aren’t very feminine and some are delicate flowers.

Wow, you mean I can wear baggy jeans and a sweatshirt and not fix my hair and still be female? I don’t need to be slender and busty? I can go around without makeup and wearing sneakers? Mind you, you’ll get judged, especially by other women if you’re a slob, but it’s definitely an option and it doesn’t make you any less female.

Personally, and unfortunately, I still have a thing for shoes. I can’t wear all the ones I’d like to be able to wear. Maybe just as well; I won’t put some orthopedist’s son through school. I like nice clothing and dressing up to go out or even to go to the office. I’ve had to calibrate for the weekend though. I had thought regular t-shirts would be ok,  not so much. My casual wear has improved markedly, but I still wear jeans a lot.

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