The day comes at last when you realize that it has been months since you’ve needed to really think about living as you now are. The glamour has worn off, the new has become the mundane. This is not to say that life is not so much better, it most certainly is because you no longer fight to express who you are, and if some things are mundane it is because those basic tools are at your fingertips.
How do you know you’ve reached the end? Some people consider transition from a mental/social standpoint and once they’ve gone full time they’ve transitioned. In some ways that makes sense as a definition. But I always think about transitions being about changing from one state to another, for me from being a man to a woman, and in that change not losing some of my identity as a father even if the parental relationship might not look exactly like fatherhood anymore. There’s really no fixed end state for a person per se, we are all in a constant state of flux, changing until the end of our lives.
Yet there’s a practical end to the process, and for me a good marking point will be my surgery. For someone who doesn’t want or can’t afford that, the same stage would just happen without those physical changes. The physical is a reflection of the mental, not the cause. I’ve read that many people do experience some profound changes afterward, and I’m interested to see how this physical change may manifest as changes in identity. Certainly one of my main motivations for having reassignment surgery is to feel in harmony and to feel genuine in my body.
For those who are about to embark, the journey takes as long as it takes. Some take shorter paths and some longer, but it is a mistake to judge one better or worse. It might be better or worse for you personally, but not for for any one person. Help the next traveller, the gift should be passed on and added to.