The question comes, “how long have you been planning this” and I think, how do I answer? I have many answers:
- Well, for three months since I got a date from the surgeon’s office
- Definitely decided to not hold off once we decided to not remain married
- It was also something I wanted from the moment I stepped into my therapist’s office three years ago
- I was researching SRS starting ten to fifteen years ago while the world was still to unfriendly to trans women and my family looked too vulnerable
- Since I was seven when I would wish hard and pray to god and be crushed to find all my parts still there
There are the other folks, “Why are you rushing?”, but they can be forgiven for not knowing that just in the modern current sense I’ve been waiting for four years when I count from when thinking about transition became obsessing about it due to emotional pain and depression. Those who know me well understand that nothing of this magnitude happens without my overthinking it.
I travel Sunday to Philly. A friend will drop me off at the airport and not long after we’ll land in Philadelphia and I’ll go to the hotel. I’ll consume only liquids on Sunday, fairly similar to prepping for a colonoscopy except for the washing with antibacterial soap part.
I’m trying to get everything packed for the trip and making sure everything’s in order. I really can’t come home to a mess since I’ll have no energy to clean it. Saturday will be that last load of laundry, packing, and picking up.
I’m going to post progress under this category. I’ll keep it PG, no pictures, no descriptions that will make you queasy and me regretful for oversharing. There are plenty of accounts of those sorts of details, go Google them if that’s what you need.