And now what?

I participate in a forum for transgender, transsexual people. It is populated by lovely and giving people. Early on I received a great deal of support; now I need a little less and I try to supply what I can.

One of the issues that gets talked about is post-op depression. There’s a huge investment in time, energy and mindshare leading up to SRS, and then it’s over. At that point, you’d better have something meaningful to pursue that isn’t related to gender dysphoria, because that’s over.

For my part I’ve been shifting hobbies from ones that required living in a house to ones that can be comfortably done within the walls of an apartment. I’m reading more, blogging, writing poetry, playing music and drawing. Then I’m giving sewing another try – I used to sew when I was in my twenties, so why not. Knitting too is a quiet activity.

One nice thing about sewing and knitting is that neither the tools nor the materials are particularly expensive. My woodworking lathe plus the motor and 3 phase inverter represents about $1200 worth of purchases. Add the turning tools and accessories and I’m guessing the total at $1600-$2000 invested.

By contrast an inexpensive computerized sewing machine can be had for $150. Add another $150 worth of tools and you can sew a garment. Plus there’s no sawdust and fewer broken fingernails!

Even at almost 2 years full time I’m still early in the process in some ways. I’m still figuring out who I am as a woman, and who I really am as a person.


One thought on “And now what?

  1. So glad you’re able to refocus your interests so well, Rachel. I can well imagine Post-op Depression being a real thing.
    After all the nervous build-up to my last GIC appointment, where I’d been so desperately wanting my diagnosis and the go-ahead for the hormones, everything went swimmingly and for the next couple of weeks or so I was flat as a pancake, listless … lost. I hadn’t actually taken the time to consider how I might react if I got the go-ahead and I’m only now, over a month later, finally starting to get my head properly back together.


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