You’ve come out, and you’ve passed the first hurdles of conquering fear, shame and guilt. Now what? It’s tempting to be target oriented, looking toward some end goal. For me, I had an unrealistic notion of how fast things could or would progress.

We don’t know what we’re going to do at the beginning and it isn’t a great idea to assume it at the start. What if you think you’re going to go full time and have surgery and scare off your spouse and it turns out that dressing at home is enough for you and she would have been ok with that. It’s really hard to unbreak relationships.

Carpe diem, take each day as a new opportunity and resist the urge to regret the past. Your past is not wasted time. It has led you to today, when you are finally able to face who you are. Beyond sensible planning, do not dwell on the future either. The future is ephemeral and can change shape at any time.

Please be patient with yourself in discovering your true self. It takes time to let her unfold and spread her wings. She’s like a child when she first comes out and slowly develops into a beautiful girl and finally a grown woman.


Note: These are my opinions and should not be construed as a substitute for advice given by a qualified therapist or medical professional. I don’t have any qualifications and I don’t know you.



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