New Waters

Some of us who travel this path keep the sexual orientation we had and some don’t. Some of our friends are concerned with labels and make it really uncomfortable, at least it is for me. I used to be oriented toward women and I had a penis and felt I was a man, so the label we used was straight and the label worked fairly good.

Transitioned, before surgery I still had a penis, so if I was into women was I straight because of the penis or lesbian because of the gender? Now, with a vagina am I lesbian, or straight because there are people who define me by my chromosomes (a story for another day).

Similarly, I happen to believe at this point that I am turned on by guys. What minor contact I’ve had seems to reinforce the view. Pretransition this wasn’t the case, although you could make the case for it being suppressed.

So I’m the girl now! Girls show interest in a less direct manner than guys although there’s been some changes as I understand. I went to a fundraising dance. This older gentleman came by and said hi to the two women near me and then asked who I was and I answered and he said hi to me as well. OK, I could tell he was interested.

Later I sat down at his table and chatted as best I could with him with the band playing. He flattered me on my eyes, my age, the scarf I was wearing and of course how attractive I am (I didn’t think I could blush that much), but I confess I turned him down for a dance. Nice enough fellow but there would have been  potential complications, first my wife is one of the people who was running the dance, and besides I didn’t like him that way, I wasn’t tingling when he was making tentative touches on my arm.

More new rules to learn. Sigh. One thing for sure, I got spoiled the first time round.

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2 thoughts on “New Waters

  1. If this question is too personal, you can ignore it, or tell me off, or you can write a whole blog entry about it: At what point do you tell someone who shows an interest in you, that you have transitioned?

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  2. That’s an excellent question and it isn’t one with a clear answer. Waiting until one is in bed is clearly waiting too long and before the first sip of coffee is jumping the gun. I have no real experience at this point, but my plan is to have a casual first date and see if there’s any promise. If there is, and it seems like there’s likely to be another, more serious date, then perhaps just bring up the general topic like “what do you think about Caitlyn Jenner” and see where the conversation goes. If that seems promising then I could talk about history without getting too explicit. I’ll just have to see.

    One of the other issues I see with dating men who are significantly older is that I’m guessing the percentage that would be accepting would be much lower. But I’ll have to see what reality is.

    I’ll write a blog entry when I know what I’m talking about – if that ever happens 🙂

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