I was approaching the checkout for the cafeteria at work, maybe five feet away when a young man easily thirty years my junior runs in to get ahead, and to add insult to injury a man more my age just walks quickly to do the same. The first thought in my mind was an angry “Men!”.
Yet was that fair? There’s no doubt that the two of them were rude and thoughtless, rushing ahead of someone who’s walking in heels is hardly an accomplishment. I could do it in flats or sneakers (gee, no smilies on this editor?), but the real question after talking with a few people is whether it’s a male linked trait to be rude by being competitive.
I started to think about the assumptions we make about women and men, who’s supposed to be nicer, or more moral, and how true that really seems to be. There are certainly different societal attitudes, an aggressive woman risks being called a bitch whereas a man just is considered a go getter, assertive or maybe self reliant.
I haven’t been able to really think of many characteristics that are really different. Either can be kind or cruel, considerate or thoughtless, humble or prideful, supportive or neglectful, nurturing, calm, aggressive, loving, hateful, and the list goes on.
Why is this useful anyway? What’s the hook into the gender experience? We should recognize that much of this is part of our core. Our core values, who we are as people. If you are a kind, considerate man, you’ll doubtless be so as a woman. If you’re narcissistic and thoughtless, you’re not suddenly going to be attentive and caring as you transition without effort, and that effort is changing you the core you.
None of this means my random thoughts are right, and there certainly are some changes brought on by transition, hrt and the differences in the new world one lives in. Yet my opinion is that the core person changes relatively little. Hopefully you become happier. Many folks I know are also more open and extroverted with feeling better about themselves.
I think we ought to be happy the core stays the same. If not we would truly lose ourselves.