Maybe this is egocentric, maybe this will inspire others to take up a metaphorical pen, or maybe this is meant as an insight to those who’ve valued whatever help I’ve lent them. I’d like to think motives matter, that intent makes a difference. Am I wrong? Is accidental help as useful?
I would also like to remind myself of why I’m writing this. It is easy to get fixated on goals that have nothing to do with one’s real motivation and lose your way. Think about all the great companies that make a fantastic product and then focus on money and churn out junk and become another also ran.
I started writing for a number of fundamental reasons beyond actually finding writing itself pleasurable and fulfilling. Finding writing fulfilling was somewhat of a surprise for a technologist who had spent most of her adult life understanding computer science and electronics in professional endeavors and followed a good deal of other science in private life.
For the trans topic part of the blog:
- Paying forward the kindnesses done for me. Particularly trying to have an impact on trans people’s lives. Finding out that there were family and friends that found help was icing on the cake.
- Understanding whether or not my writing on this topic had any appeal. A number of people in the past had said I should write a book (without knowing how many books already exist), I was curious whether that was remotely possible.
For the creative writing:
- Poetry is an amazing outlet for me that connects a deep part of my emotional self up to words and rhyme. It strips my feelings bare into alliteration and metaphor. I find it immensely satisfying – even though I’m less inspired as my life finds more peace.
- Storytelling has always been a deep thread in me. I’m struggling to find my voice in crafting fiction. Having a place to post short stories and work on longer ones let’s me have a goal and a sense of how I’m doing beyond my own subjective feelings and the guarded feedback I can get from friends.
I’ve been amazed that between the different venues that posts go out on that in about nine months this is up to around 100 followers. To me that’s somewhat amazing. I have no idea (of course) what that means really, but it sounds nice. It never ceases to amaze me what will garner a lot of interest versus not. I never would have imagined 30+ views on panty gussets, really? I was just irritated about the darned things.
I’ve also been amazed that to date (probably shouldn’t say this!) I’ve only attracted one troll, probably because I have no prominence. There are few comments posted, I’m sometimes surprised at that.
Last, I find it really strange to see people reading this from places like the Ukraine, Egypt and India, everybody is of course welcome, I just had no idea.
Comments definitely welcome if you’ve bothered to read to here. If there are subjects I haven’t addressed and you’d like posted or researched post a comment about that too. I’m starting to have trouble remembering what I’ve written at this point after 150+ posts.