SRS Diary 7/22/16

Note to people who don’t want to hear about surgery, vaginas, scar tissue, dilators, etc. Please go look elsewhere. This will be TMI, you have been warned.

First, a little retrospective. I had surgery to feel more aligned and comfortable with my body. Safety in public situations was there and has unfortunately felt even more appropriate as the country loses it’s collective mind over non-issues. Sexuality was third or fourth on the list

I do think this has all worked out fairly well. The only thing I really wasn’t prepared for is how uncomfortable dilation ended up being for me. These minor complications that arise out of torn stitches and such are pretty common and I imagine being in some pain is too.

I’d advise anyone heading in for surgery to expect a good bit of discomfort and in particular, don’t think that not having it immediately post surgery is a predictor. I started having problems somewhat after surgery. Not a reason to avoid having it, but better to be mentally prepared than to be caught off guard.

I saw my GYN this last week. I’m getting better, she had to do much less direction to get me into the proper position. I am going to make a fortune in retirement. I’m going to start a company that makes ergonomically comfortable stirrups. I will sell approximately 1 gillion of them. Is it possible to make these things any worse?

My concerns remain about the same. I have a boo boo that runs from my urethral meatus to the right, although that is showing some signs of healing at last, and I have some significant pain on dilation. The 1.25″ dilator is excruciatingly painful. Understand that this means there’s a spot, not that there’s general pain from stretching.

She does the standard internal exam and declares it all perfect. I still find this all astonishing, that tissue that used to be outside is now all inside, that used to have an outer layer of epidermis has shed that dry skin layer and become soft.

Pain on dilation? Well I have three areas of scarring near the opening. She says I have a mild prolapse, which means the upper wall of the vagina  hangs down a little bit. The “corners” this forms with the labia have scar tissue which stretches and causes pain. Then there’s a band of scar tissue right at the opening and there’s a split there which is causing a problem at well.

“Can the scarring be reduced or removed?” The answer is no, we have no way to know it won’t be even worse. It’s much better to stretch what’s there and make it more supple rather than trying any kind of surgery.

I asked about estrogen cream, which I’ve heard can soften and make vaginal tissue more flexible and she thinks it’s ok to try. She also says to also just massage the area with natural oil like coconut oil and it’ll work out over time.

The second question I had was about finding substitutes for the awful hard plastic dilators. I had bought a 1.125″ silicone dildo with smooth sides and a 1/2 round tip – it’s exactly a dilator. She said great, that’s perfectly fine just use that instead.

A last comment is about (of all things) douching. I don’t and haven’t since maybe the third month in. Everything’s happy happy and I see no reason to make my bacteria unhappy! I eat yogurt regularly.

For a natal woman there is no question that douching is a bad idea unless there’s something specific going on that really requires it. It screws up the natural flora that’s protecting the vagina from infectious stuff like candida (yeast) or nasty bacteria that cause vaginosis.

Hence I asked. She said absolutely don’t douche. It made me feel good to hear that. I have a lousy sense of smell, and while I had it on good authority that my hoo hah smelled normal it’s always good to know that I’m taking proper care of it.

I went away with an appointment for two months hence, and I can cancel if there’s nothing to have it for.

At this point it is only the scar tissue and in particular the small fissure that it’s pulling that’s causing pain. The two “corner” scars seem to be somewhat broken up. I’m massaging them all with estrogen cream once a day or so.



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