Ladies Room Redux

I was having a talk with a gf at work, mostly a funny one because there are some oddities about the bathrooms at work and some other things came up that weren’t mentioned but clearly are worth a quick comment.

Speed: When there’s no line and the stalls aren’t all occupied you don’t have to dash. But at public events and plays and sports and you name it I guarantee you there will be a line of fifty women and three stalls. The rule is, you get to the front of the line. As soon as a stall opens you walk quickly, neither sprinting nor dawdling, and do your business as quickly as you possibly can and get out, wash up and leave. It is just the only way we can make it work.

I know how it makes you feel, and I know how it can make you nervous, and I know things may not work right. If it doesn’t happen in the first thirty or forty seconds, get up, pull up your panties and get on with the evening. I wasn’t immune.

I want to reiterate the part about hand washing – nothing will get you noticed more. Men sometimes skip this (uck), women never skip this. Think about it, never!

When looking for places to put your bag, try to avoid the floor. The floor is a truly disgusting place only to be used as an absolute last resort. If you do need to use the floor, at least run a damp paper towel over the bag bottom and clean it better at home.

Last – no:

  • I don’t know why they have no place to put your bag while you’re washing your hands
  • I don’t know why they can’t make an automatic toilet that flushes exactly one time, not twice most of the time and never sometimes
  • I definitely don’t know what idiot decides to put the tp dispenser where my hip is jutting out to – and mine are smaller than most so it’s better for me?

I especially like when things are mounted so you have to be a contortionist to reach them and use them.

For those who are still “original equipment”:

Never, ever, ever, ever pee standing up. I don’t care if you think you’re alone in there. Don’t do it. You will not like what happens if you’re noticed. At best dirty looks.

Please remember that the door latches on most of these stalls are terrible, really terrible. I suggest resting your hands on your lap as a precaution? I won’t say this was a major reason for having SRS but it was on the list down around #8 or #9. Public embarrassment.

 

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