Female Sexuality

One can make the argument that I can’t know this. However, not only is that mostly likely to be part of an argument that says I’m really a dude in women’s clothing, but continues about the delusional state of trans people. I’m not writing for them, they can go off in their echo chamber and talk about the moral decay of modern times because they let LGBT people out of the closet.

If you will, suspend your doubts.

Before transition I lived as a guy and experienced sexuality as a guy as well. My libido was reasonably healthy until the trans stuff caught up with me. After that it was pretty screwed up. At the end it means that from roughly age thirteen to age fifty I functional in a male role.

I did not understand female sexuality very well, and one could argue I routinely ignored what little I did know. In that I was like many men. Men are ready to go right away, and women just are not. Men tend to be centered on the release and women are more interested in the entire experience and intimacy.

I first started to understand this before transition after things weren’t all right with the world in that respect. I started to really appreciate the value of intimacy.

Now is an entirely different story. Like other women I am not walking around ready to jump into the sack. Like them getting aroused takes real time, tens of minutes  not seconds. Like them intimacy is really important and  orgasm less so (but really nice). Like them the “point” of sex is to feel good and close to the person you’re with.

Guys, when she tells you it takes time, it does take time. When she says it starts before you go into the bedroom, it does. When you do get started don’t be in a rush. If she says she’s done, even if she didn’t have an orgasm then let it be. She might be tired, distracted, no longer turned on, satisfied by the experience and not needing any more.

What do I really like about female sexuality? This business with almost your entire skin being a sensual surface is really lovely. We may not get orgasms all the time, but having experienced both I’m going to say female orgasm is better (and they really are very different). It’s kind of wonderful that if I do get aroused by something during the day I can just smile sweetly and nobody will ever know.

This was a big change to undergo and understand. Sex was not high on my list for reasons to have GCS, but I can’t say I’m anything but thrilled at how things work now.


3 thoughts on “Female Sexuality

  1. Before I even transitioned our sex life had dwindled as multiple surgeries and meds left my wife not really up to sex and it would be painful. So since around Sept of 2009, we really haven’t had intercourse. That has led us to find other ways to be intimate. Of course, when a male, that thing really does have a mind of its own. Since I started HRT, I found my own drive dropped to near zero. Yet, I think we have become even closer and more intimate. We have a lot of hugging and kissing and touching. I find that to be even more powerful and I am often overwhelmed with loving feelings for her so I cry a lot. She naturally teases me about it, but I can see her get just as teary. I would not trade that for anything. I have heard that over time your sex drive returns, of course, in a different way, but we will wait and see on that one. Right now, I don’t think I want to even get naked with anyone until after surgery. I don’t want that thing there.


  2. Post surgery, and with a small amount of supplemental testosterone it came back for me. You might not need the T, my adrenals were making zero on their own. However, it is not the same kind of libido. Not necessarily a bad thing though.


  3. So true.. it is like you have spoken my heart out by saying ‘it takes time’ and ‘it starts even before getting in bed.
    Thank you for sharing such honest post. It is interesting to know how you have experienced sex from both sides and understood so well too.
    I felt glad to be a woman when you said that woman enjoys orgasm more. 😁


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s