I always sort of wondered. How much was acting and how much was real. Then I started HRT back in 2013. At first there was very little change. It takes a long time for the effects of testosterone to wear off. I was no Arnold Schwarzenegger, but I wasn’t Barney Fife either. I had shoulders, lats, pecs, all those muscle groups. Hard to tell under the layer of fat of course.
After a year I still saw very little effect and I started to think it was all a bit overblown. Sure I wasn’t as strong but I was still pretty strong. My skin was a lot more sensitive so applying a lot of pressure was painful, but I could still apply pressure.
After four years it is no longer a subtle effect. I bought a chair today. The chair in the carton was 21 Kg or about 44 lbs. I couldn’t lift it directly, but at the store I had help getting it to my car and at home I was able to use my body (not my arms) to lower it to the ground and a hand truck to get it back to my apartment.
44 lbs would not have been trivial before, but I didn’t have any particular problem lifting bags that heavy. It wasn’t fun but it wasn’t a problem. Now it just isn’t going to happen.
The whole thing stings in a small and tiny way. There’s this corner of my old male pride sucking his thumb disillusioned in the back recess of my mind. But the rest of my mind just shrugs he shoulders and says, “What a nice young man”