The Bamboozle Bra

I’ve been watching reruns of What Not to Wear. TLC’s been running the old shows that I never saw, like season 4 and 5. One of the adds is for the Miracle Bamboo Bra, which will solve all your brassiere problems forever. Incidentally, brassiere is an English word adopted from the French that does not mean the same thing, the French word for bra is soutien gorge. Go figure.

If there’s anything women all agree on is that bras are not the most wonderful garments. However, properly fitted and the right size they aren’t terrible. It is a problematic thing they do, they hold up as much as a few pounds of breast tissue, largely by means of the band that attaches behind your back. The straps actually don’t do that much supporting.

Every woman I know, and me too, the first thing we do arriving home is to remove our bra, and go “ahhhhh”. There is debate whether we really need them to prevent sagging, Mother nature does have ways of keeping the girls up, and some argue that not putting strain on those ligaments means they don’t develop strength.

The “miracle” bra is a no-wire full coverage bra made of viscose derived from bamboo. Bamboo actually does make a pretty comfortable fabric; I have a couple of nightgowns made of it. They make a lot of claims for the bra.

The thing is, it comes in shirt sizes. Your breasts are not the size of your shirt – you need something different depending on how big they are.

It’s a full coverage bra, that’s not always appropriate, I have things that aren’t even low cut that it would show above the v-neck.

It is, in my opinion, incredibly ugly.

Not having underwires is also a problem if you’re bigger, at least in my opinion. You need something to lift from and that’s what the underwire does.

Bras, unfortunately society says we have to wear them. Meh.

 

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