I was sitting in a cafe sipping my iced mocha. Being a nervous sort I had overdressed and over made up. It was a sort of armor. I calmed down while waiting on the worn out love seat I had grabbed by the window.
Pretty much spot on the dot my date came in sort of nose first and I quietly called out to him, that seat being close to the door. We had a nice hour or so chatting, perhaps a bit too much shop talk for a date as we’re both in engineering, or maybe just fine. Smart guy, a charming broug, although I’ll skip saying which.
We talked a bit about families and I managed quite well to talk about a long marriage while avoiding pronouns without it being an in your face thing demanding attention. We went off and walked around the canals – we was clearly not to be fears and it was a nice walk outdoors indeed.
We got back to the main drag and as it was quite hot outside people weren’t spending their time sitting outside having their meals, besides, it was around 3:30 in the afternoon so who’d be eating then.
And so I started, “I think this is going well, but I really need to tell you something…”, and I was gentle about it and so was he. I told him I surely understood it might well not be ok, it was crystal clear he had no hint. I’m afraid I’ve started to get good at this whole thing of being who I actually am and not trying to be someone I’m not.
So we walked a bit more but I didn’t stretch it. Perhaps another ten minutes and I had him back near his car. I judged a hug would be ok but that anything more would have to come from him leaning in – god it is complicated being a girl!!!!! But also, no need to make him uncomfortable if he already was skittish.
So I wait. I wrote a short thank you, nothing crazy and that will be all. The ball is in his court.
Playing the girl’s part in the dating process is a remarkable pain in the ass. You drop these giant sized boulders of agreeable clues. Like “Oh, it’d be nice to walk around X”, me “Oh I’d be happy to show you around some time” (like tomorrow, suggest or ask about a time, can’t you get what I’m saying right there. I mean really!!!!!!!!!) Oh my god, I know there’s a fear of rejection but let’s get real, what kind of a sadist would I have to be?
Not being crazy I haven’t been trying to run several conversations at once. Too much energy. If I don’t hear back then I’ll take out the tackle box tonight and start fishing.
Ta, ta for now!