I spent four hours driving sixty miles yesterday. Two hours into Boston and two hours home. I had two appointments, one with the plastic surgery unit at BMC and one with the pre op unit.
They went over things, checked me out, all the usual stuff. As expected they added the dreaded bowel cleanse to the pre op ritual, but I’ve been through that several times for colonoscopy and once for SRS so while unpleasant I don’t consider it a big deal.
I went over my punch list with them. In addition to fixing the vaginal stenosis I want to deal with some degree of spraying, obtaining labia minora and fixing a very odd configuration in my labia majora at the front. It splays out instead of joining in.
I found that the surgeon had already noted about the labia minora and the physician’s assistant I was talking too added a note about the labia majora. She said I should talk to the urologist on the surgery date about the spraying. I hope I don’t forget.
I’m nervous. I’m in this position because things ended up ok, but far from perfect the first time. The most important things were ok. There were no serious complications, sensation was intact and if it hadn’t been for the scar tissue he had done a great job providing depth with an inadequate amount of donor material.
Unfortunately the scarring is a big deal. The surgeon doesn’t get to control the body’s reaction. It isn’t a matter of fault. Most of what’s going on with me is much like the revisions done in a two part vaginoplasty. I suppose that isn’t that surprising given the lack of material.
I’d be lying if I said I was calm, cool and collected. I’m not. I’m concerned that things may not be better or that something could be worse. However, I do think the odds are overwhelmingly on my side that this will be ok. I also think that better cosmetic results will be better functional results and will result in better sexual response with me less concerned about things being broken and not having twinges of pain. Those twinges are not helpful.
I arrived home and shortly after received a call from BMC. They had a cancellation and would I like my surgery on the 10th instead of the 18th. Sure. The sooner the better. Less time to mull this over, and less time to worry.
This is the point where I really wish I knew less. Knowing too much can be a curse, because you worry about all the possibilities.