But you can’t ever be a real woman (or man)

After my first question to the therapist, can you make this go away, we started talking about things and my primary issue was that I indeed could never be a “real” woman. This is something I’ve had to come to grips with, and it took up a great deal of mental energy at times. It……

Ten Years and Counting

This is the first of some lookbacks on my first ten years since starting my process. The shortened timeline is as follows: April 2012 – came out to wife and rabbi as transgender and sought help. Shortly thereafter found my therapist for the gender disphoria October 2013 – started hormone replacement therapy March 2014 -……

Transgender?

What’s in the name? I’ll claim a good deal of confusion, Transgender, as a term, encompasses a wide variety of behaviors and degrees of accommodation. All these have in common is that they are variants to the “normal” gender binary. A person can be trans and not have made any transition, or they could be……

Oh, the Youth,,,

I could be Plato cursing drunken revelers or a modern parent wondering where their child is ninety minutes past your agreed on curfew time. The constant is that despite the surface accoutrements like a wine bottle or a cellphone, the behaviors being complained about haven’t really changed. Roudy teenagers all. As is usual I’m going……

Regrets

Sometimes we pretend to have no regrets in taking the extreme steps we’ve needed to take to live and hopefully prosper. These thoughts come to me in a bit of a funk — par for the course between depression and Parkinson’s. I think my transition has been very successful. I think little about my gender……

What now?

You’ve struggled. Coming out to friends and family, counting losses, having problems on the job. The world has changed around you. Perhaps you have a different job. Perhaps there’s a new search for new friends having lost the old ones not only due to transphobia but because those guys can’t related to a woman. This……

Hips

I was looking in the mirror yesterday and I realized that I’m shaped like a woman. Not a little, a lot. My hips start below my rib cage and end at my thighs – I’m a hefty sort even after losing about 20#. I knew I had something there, I just didn’t realize what. Go……

Why People Rarely Change Their Minds

People keep asking this on Quora, presumably out of a morbid fascination of the assumed sense of dread that person would feel. Oh my god what have I done. In fact it would be very dire, and I am truly empathetic for the extremely few people who have managed to get to that position. The……

Do People Ever forgive and forget

Just now when I thought things were basically over, I’ve had another rude awakening. Perhaps it was just about my personality. I can’t take all the info out of this post – those who know me personally in the Jewish community will know where I attend and other details, but I’ll leave those out of……

Less and Less

Doubtless you’ve noticed I post less in this blog than I used to. There’s a fine reason for that, I’m well beyond transition and I just live my life these days. None of the formerly new things are new anymore. Going to the ladies room? was it ever any other way it feels like to……