Happy New Year 2017

with only a couple of changes from the post to the NuttyKats forum, an excellent place to be a transsexual. Added comments in parenthesis in italic

It has been a great journey through thick and thin. (five years in April 2017) There’s this large group that helped me move through the swamp and miasma that hid the goal at times. R, you were a big part. I felt rather sad when you disappeared, but then….

I reached the end of transition and realized why. I was and am living my life day to day. The pronouns are almost normalized as is the name. It’s odd to say that, but I’ve found it takes time. It has been like a new pair of boots. They fit ok, but they need time on your body to mold to your anatomy.

And now? Now it can be hard to get to this. (the forum) It competes and without the constant stream of issues, at least for trans issues it hasn’t been as important. My troubles may be many, but they are normal. Separation, dating, migraines and parkinson’s. Now the need for a minor revision and the desire to get lipo at that time to make clothes easier to find and for them to fit better (and not slide down my body to some less appropriate altitude :))

My life now has a before and after, and I value both. The inbetween? Well that was kinda painful. The constant losses of friends and family. I started with blinders on, I didn’t see it at first, but it has been real. P’s family gone to me. My orthodox cousin – gone, despite nice words to my sister. But I also kept some. Male friends – I can count those that remain on one hand. My career hasn’t been derailed but it took a few blows as the process wore on. Colleagues that shunned me, and the not entirely rare odd look from some. A great deal of support, and a yawning chasm on the other side as men withdrew.

I’m more patient, kind and attentive than I ever was as D. I still love P, and the love comes my way too. My daughter is slowly reaching a more even relationship with me. We talked recently about my medical issues and then I listened to her about our politics here. All I could say was that I couldn’t disagree with her.

Love, hugs and best wishes to all in 2017. May it be a good year despite the frosty outlook.

Rachel

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